So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
