He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dick very happy bro
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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