New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sober January is a disaster.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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