I want to have your abortion
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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