Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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