When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yo dont text me then not text me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
