I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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