i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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