i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
