ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
