You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
