Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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