You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
