I wish you could order shots online.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
