Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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