i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
