i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
A bitchslap is in order.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
