I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
