it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
