Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
