I wish life had little blips of pornography
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
