i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The best revenge is premature balding
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
