So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
