she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
