so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
