whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
