this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Who put my cat in the fridge?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
