He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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