eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
