I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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