Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
