dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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