If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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