Got a toothbrush?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
