You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
