please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
