Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
