This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
