Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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