You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
