chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
