you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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