6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
