I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
