Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
