o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
