singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
