Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
