butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
