just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
